Oh my McKenna! If you ever wondered what a SEVEN looks like then spend an hour with McKenna! When she heard I had written my first blog, the first question she asked with a huge smile on her face was, “Did you mention me?” So I have been telling her that I will write a blog about her. I sat her down last night to ask her some specific questions about being a SEVEN. I couldn’t get much more out of her other than “I am awesome!”, “Being a SEVEN is awesome, but I’m actually a ten!” and when asked how she handles being quarantined she just kept saying, “Everything is just fine!”
Everyone has someone that comes to mind when you think of the optimistic, joyful, life of the party, center of attention friend or family member. If you can’t tell, SEVENS are very optimistic, especially McKenna. SEVENS love adventure, trying new things, and get bored with the same ol’ routine. Growing up, McKenna always had a song to sing, or a play to act out for her captive audience. I can sing several of her hilarious, self-written little jingles, including one that she shared with us when she was just 3 1/2 called “I don’t like bugs in my house” which I sing every time I am trying to swat flies. She’s had crazy ideas such as getting into the dryer with her younger sister to have a “tea party” when she was eight or just last month grabbing a pineapple float and going out to the overflowing neighborhood creek to raft. Life is never dull with McKenna around and everyone, especially her younger sister, gravitate to her infectious joy.
It took me a long time to discover that McKenna would say that everything was “fine” even if it wasn’t. SEVENS despise feeling trapped in emotional pain and do not want to discuss feelings. So it’s never surprising when encountering negative circumstances and emotions that SEVENS will answer that everything is just fine. Life has not been easy for McKenna. She struggled reading and learning at school, but she would never talk about any issues. About the time she was in 6th grade, I kept asking her why she never wore shorts. She would give one excuse after another. I finally saw her legs and the poor girl was COVERED in eczema scars, open sores that she had itched until they bled, and red, splotchy patches. I gasped! No wonder she didn’t want to show any part of her leg! “McKenna, why didn’t you tell me how much they were bothering you?” I asked trying not to overreact.
I remember her saying, “It’s fine, Mom!”
“I can help you. Let’s go to the doctor and see what we can do.” Remember I’m a TWO and just want to help!
“I have just learned to live with it,” she shrugged and replied matter-of-factly. And then I’m sure she made a joke or did something silly to draw my attention away from her uncomfortable rash issue. SEVENS just hate dealing with uncomfortable emotions that they have no control over so they will ignore that part of themselves and offer a joke instead.
That is the flip side to all the optimism. With all that is happening right now with the virus, I am very grateful for McKenna’s optimism. I do keep telling her that I am here for her if she is ever overwhelmed and wants to talk. Offer a listening ear to a SEVEN when they do open up. And SEVENS, I promise that you will not die by working through a negative emotion! SEVENS need to hear that it’s okay to grieve and work all the way through a difficult and painful emotion, and sometimes they just need someone there to walk through it with them.
My eldest daughter, Hailey is also a SEVEN but shows a different side because she is a SEVEN wing EIGHT (read https://www.oneeightyenneagram.com/blog/confessions-of-a-five-the-tortoise-and-the-hare to discover more about wings) and McKenna is a SEVEN wing SIX. Hailey has seen the rest of her senior year destroyed by this virus. Prom, senior trip, graduation have all been cancelled. There is no denying that to a 17-year old, these are difficult things to walk through. Even though Hailey is also optimistic, I have been there to cry with her as each thing gets cancelled. She cries for a bit, wipes her tears away, and then continues to move forward. I think it’s a sign of maturity and love that Hailey isn’t bottling up her grief. It’s healthy to walk through the pain, not ignore it, and not stay in it. Even Jesus grieved.
Most SEVENS look to the future and to SEVENS the future is so bright! I’m proud of my SEVEN daughters. I wish I walked in that kind of joy and simplicity to keep moving to the bright future. Sometimes I am able to cry with them and sometimes, well quite a lot actually, they pull me out of my funky emotions to simply laugh!
*And if you are wondering, I did get her permission to share these stories.
Two of My Girls
Hailey (17) had a brilliant idea of wrapping McKenna’s (15) hair around a pencil and then using a flattening iron on it. This took two hours. But they had fun!
Silly SEVENS
These two are pretty silly when they get together! They get along well and love to listen to music, sing and laugh together.